Jealous Outtakes
by Hobbit Luver
Summary: When Arwen drops in on Aragorn she meets Eowyn trouble stirrs. What happens when the girls get talking,a mix-up with names, and total jealousy is all mixed together? Humourous romance and an entertaining story!
1. Arwen and Eowyn get accuwainted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hi everyone! This is a humorous story that I know could never possibly happen in the book. It is ment for laughs. I know that all the characters are much deeper then this. (Especially Eowyn's and Arwen's love for Aragorn is of course not just a crush like I make it in this story...) I just want to say I do not mean to affend the book in any way! Thanks! Enjoy!  
  
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The scene starts out at Helms Deep where Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli and getting ready to fight.  
  
"That is no ork horn!" Legolas and the others quickly turned and ran to see what greeted them. Haldir and many other elves were lined up ready to fight along side Rohan! Aragorn and Haldir talked for a while then just as everyone was getting into their fighting postions Aragorn noticed one of the elves.  
  
"Arwen! Oh, Evenstar! Is that you?" Aragorn grabbed one of the hooded elves away and looked deep into the elfs eyes.  
  
" Yes Aragorn." said the elf. "It is I, Arwen." She looked up lovenly at him and her hood fell of her face. " I'm here."  
  
"But...but...Arwen...." he stammered. "Its...its too dangourous! You should leave now!" He pointed away then noticed he was pointing no where.  
  
" I should..." she pulled close to him and and kissed his lips. "But I'm not going to." Aragorn pulled away from her.  
  
" Arwen, for your own safety, you cannot stay here!" He exclaimed. "Why would you come here anyway?" Arwen just smiled at the confused man. How simple minded he was! But how cute it made him!  
  
" Aragorn.....I came to see YOU." Aragorn had actually knew this all along.   
  
" Well I will not be the reason for you to be put in dangour! You must leave now. No questions asked." He said firmly.  
  
" Lord Aragorn, don't you assume that the road back to Rivendale may be as or even more tretchourous? Wouldn't you say it would be safer for me to stay here with the woman in the caves? If I cannot accomien your side then at least let me stay here at Helms Deep!" With that she kissed him before he could ask anymore questions and trotted off to the caves where the woman and children were hiding. Aragorn did have more questions but with Arwen in her stubborn mood, what was the use of asking? He knew he would get nothing more out of her. He went back to where he was before the elves came and smiled quietly to himself.  
  
"My oh my." He thought.  
  
Eowyn was helping everyone get into the caves when she saw someone enter who she didn't regonize. She put her hand out before the person before she could get any further into the cave.  
  
"Er..excuse me for being so bold, but just who are you?" questioned Eowyn.  
  
" I'm am Arwen, daughter of Elrond of Rivendale and I have come to stay in your cave during war." answered Arwen matter-of-factly.  
  
" Well Arw...." suddenly Eowyn stopped short. " Why, why yes! Your an elf are you not?" she said noticing the elf's ears. "And if you are an elf and you speak true of you name...." The woman thought hard. Was this not the 'Arwen' that she had heard lord Aragorn speak of? Was the the Arwen that kept Aragorn from loving her? Was this the Arwen that might be leaving Middle-Earth to Valinor?  
  
"Er...welcome yourself at home!" cried Eowyn completly forgetting her mannors.  
  
"Thank you, lady." Arwen seated herself on a large stone in the caves and quickly Eowyn sat on the ground be side her.  
  
" Quite dirty in here!" Noticed Arwen.  
  
" Uh...yes. It IS a cave." pointed out Eowyn.   
  
"Oh well, yes. Sheesh! Would they keep it queit out there? And why are they making such yucky, screaming sound? Don't they have any consideration for other peop...." Arwen commited on the yelling sounds of war. She kept on complaining about different things...the people...yucky food...dirty blankets.....but Eowyn tuned it all out. Her mind was preocupied. How could she get information out of Arwen about Aragorn without making it sound as if she was intrested? By what Aragorn had told her Arwen and him seemed really close.  
  
" Um...so Arwen....er.....got a love intrest in your life? You know...not being nosy or anything but..." Arwen, so happy that Eowyn had brought up the subject, was very glad to share information...and lots of it!  
  
"Why yes actually! A sweet heart, he is!"   
  
" Does he have a name?" Eowyn accuired.  
  
" Estel." She said quietly.  
  
" ESTEL?!?!?!?!" Eowyn was shocked! She thought Arwen loved Aragorn! This had to be the right Arwen!  
  
" Yes. Does the name matter to you?" Asked the elf.  
  
" No-oo..." stammered Eowyn. This was news to know! The last Eowyn had talked to his lord Aragorn was just a few days back and he was talking lovely things of this elf, and now here she was saying she was in love with another man!  
  
" I love him with all my heart!" Arwen continued " No one could compare!" Eowyn's mind was spinning.   
  
" Unfortently my father isn't so keen, but who could listen to him when my love of my life is so close?!" She rattled on and on! Estel this, Estel that, he great swords man, he has a heart of gold... all this just went through Eowyns brain. Poor Aragorn! He should have the right to know he was being cheated on!................................................................................................. So why shouldn't Eowyn tell him.......? 


	2. Dinner at the hall

Disclaimer: *sigh* Saddly I have not the talent nor the brains to create such wonderful characters or anything else in "The Lord of the Rings"  
  
Hi! Where we left off Arwen had came to Helm's Deep and was staying in the caves until the war was over. She met Eowyn and they had talked about a lot of thing. Eowyn had just found out that Arwen was in love with someone named Estel. But what about Aragorn? Will Eowyn break the news gently and be there to comfort him? Will Arwen smash his heart to pieces? But what happens with a big mix-up....................?  
  
(By the way, I do not hate Arwen. I 'm sorry if anyone is affended when I make fun of her or any other people in this story!)  
  
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" Geez Louise! I'm trying to get to sleep! Doesn't anyone care?" Arwen growled as she lay on Eowyn's blankets and wrapped the rest of hers around herself. " Doesn't anyone clean up around here? Will you noisy people keep it down? I'm superior!" Finally Arwen got so fed up with the noise level in the cave when she was trying to get her beauty sleep (like she needed any) and quickly stood up.  
  
" You!" she said pointing to a large woman " Do you have any idea how loud you are?! And you girly," she said pointing to a young lady "Can't you keep your stupid baby quiet? All I hear around here is yak, yak yak! And the occasoinal blah blah blah! Doesn't anyone know the meaning of SILENCE?!?!?" Arwen screamed. It looked like all the vains in her neck where going to pop open!(Probably this side of her came from her father's side.)   
  
" Er...lady Arwen." Eowyn ventured boldly. "There ARE many other people in here besides you.... You can't excpect to keep them all quiet can you?" Eowyn tried to reason.  
  
" WELL I CAN TRY, DOG GONE IT, CAN'T I?! SO JUST KEEP IT q-u-i-e-t...QUIET!!!!!!" with that Arwen again sat down and nessled in her little bed of blankets. Eowyn sat againast the side of the cave, cold and shivering because Arwen had her blankets. She prayed and prayed for when the war of Helm's Deep would be over and she could get out of this jail-like-cave and would never have to listen to the elf's complaining anymore. Eowyn sighed heavely.  
  
" Hopfully that day will be soon." she whispered.  
  
" I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!" cried Arwen from her bed.  
  
" Okay, okay." The woman muttered and tried to fall asleep.  
  
Finally the battle of Helm's Deep was over! The sun was bright and happiness spread over the kingdom.   
  
Eowyn ran out of the caves with everyone else, except Arwen who was still sleeping.  
  
"Lord! Lord Aragorn!" she cried and ran straight to him. She touched his cheek and looked at him with stars in her eyes. "You live!"  
  
"Yes! But alas, many have not. But who cares? I'm alive!" with that he jumped up in the air screaming "Yippe cye ay!" and "Zipidee doo dah." Eowyn finally stopped him when he was doing his little victory dance and singing "Oh baby! Who's the man? Thats Aragorn! Thats Aragorn! Who died? Thats Haldir! Thats Haldir! Who's better? Thats me! Thats me!"  
  
"Er...Aragorn..." Eowyn hesitated. How could she break this guy's heart when he looked so happy? Maybe she would tell him later..  
  
" C'mon! They're holding a victory dinner in the hall!" Aragorn grabbed Eowyn's hand and rushed her into the hall of Helm's Deep.  
  
" Lets eat!" Aragorn sat next to Gimil who was already sloppering down all his food. He reached for his third cup of ale.  
  
"So whats the total, elfie?" Gimil asked Legolas who sat beside him also.  
  
"49, my good dwarf. Now tell me yours." Legolas said confidently.  
  
".....4....8....48." grumbled Gimli.  
  
" Oh ya! Legolas is the elf! You couldn't beat me ha! Hahahahahaha HA!" Legolas bragged. "And ya know what else? I didn't even muss a hair!" Legolas started smoothing his hair back.  
  
"Oh ya? Didn't muss a hair? Well we'll see about that!" With that comment Gimil jumped apon Legolas grooping his hands towards the elf's perfectly set blonde hair. They both tumbled out of their seats and started rolling on the floor with friendly rage.  
  
"Ha! You couldn't kill a baby ork!"  
  
"Oh ya? Don't you know what shampoo and condtnor is?"  
  
Aragorn laughed at his friends.  
  
"You think thats so funny?" They both said in unison and wrapped their arms around his legs and pulled him down onto the floor of the hall.  
  
Together they laughed as they tumbled over each other, playfully punching.  
  
Eowyn watched from the side of the hall and laughed. The three of them...such good friends. Always laughing..always.. Suddenly she was pushed to the ground and pushed out of her train of thought!  
  
Arwen came running past her screaming her head off!  
  
"Oh Aragorn! Help me! Ewwwww!!!! It's awful!" Arwen pulled Aragorn off the floor and rushed him out of the hall.  
  
"You must come! Its GRUESOME!" Arwen drew out her words. She lead the man from his joyful play to the beat-up battle place.   
  
"Bodies! Yuckie poo!" She cried and started jumping around like a little toddler. "Clean them up." she demanded.  
  
"WHAT?!" Aragorn cried. "I cannot..and will not...do that!"  
  
"Bah. Your just afraid." she muttered.  
  
"What did you say, Arwen? Oh well lets go back to the hall."  
  
"Be right there."  
  
Everyone was gathered in their seats and eating. Aragorn sat down next to Gimil. Eowyn noticed a seat next to Aragorn and started walking towards it. Arwen ran in.  
  
"Oh my love! Wait for me!" she again knocked Eowyn over and grabbed the seat next to Aragorn. Grumbling, Eowyn to the seat next to Arwen and started loading her plate with yummy eats.  
  
" Oh, sweetie-poo, do you now have horrible it was sleeping with those grubby humans? Their DIRTY." Arwen moaned. Eowyn looked at her plate with disgust.  
  
" They stink, and they are horribly dismannered! I mean just look at Eowyn! She is the perfect-" Suddenly Arwen stopped short to look at Eowyn who was gagging over her plate.  
  
" Gak! Akk!" How could Arwen say this? It was not her food she was gagging on but more Arwen's words. " DISMANNERED? STIN-" suddenly Eowyn managed to hold on to her manners. How could Aragorn like this person? She was rude and abnoxious!  
  
" Well, there you go, Aragorn! Gagging and coughing like that! I would never!"  
  
" Well EEXCC-UUSE me!" Eowyn exclaimed. The woman noticed that Aragorn was looking annoyed too.  
  
" Now to you understand what I went through? Poor me, right, baby? All you had to do was killed a few orks but I had to liv-"   
  
" KILL A FEW ORKS? KILL A FEW ORKS?!!!!!!?!!? WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK WE DID OUT THERE? HAVE THE TIME OF OUR LIVES? PARTY ALL NIGHT?!? LIVES WERE LOST, WOMAN! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!" Aragorn shouted standing up and drawing attention to himself.  
  
" You do not raise your voice with me, young man! I will not be so rudely treated!" with that Arwen got up from the table and left the busy hall.  
  
" Rudely treated! Hmmff!" Aragorn snuffed then left.  
  
"Hmm." sighed Gimli. " I guess we can have their food?"  
  
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Thanks! I'm really sorry this chapter took so long to get up. I haven't been on the computer for ages and I've been really busy. The next chapter will be up sooner, I promise! Again sorry for any mistakes I made and if I insulted the characters its just for the story! I hoped you enjoyed! Review please!! 


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